The Malem Negor Custom

In the Betawi wedding tradition, there are several rituals or customs that must be carried out. One of them is the custom of 'malem negor', or commonly called 'negor'. Usually malem negor is done the day after the marriage contract, where the groom has been allowed to stay at the bride's house.

In this malem negor, although it is allowed to stay at the bride's house, the groom cannot sleep with the bride like husband and wife. The bride must be able to maintain her virginity as long as possible. Even to serve to talk to the groom, he must maintain his prestige and play hard to get. But on the one hand, she has to do her duty as a wife to her husband. Like serving her husband to prepare food, drink and toiletries.

While on the groom's side, he must try hard to persuade and seduce his wife to accept the presence of the groom as her husband. The groom's persuasion or also known as 'Tuan Raje Mude' is usually not only with beautiful words, but also by giving 'Tegor’ money. This money is not given directly but is tucked under the tablecloth or under the coasters. Even this money does not make the bride's heart or also known as 'None Pengantin' melt, because maybe the money is still relatively small amount. Tuan Raje Mude of course understands what None of the brides want, so the money is added day by day to a higher amount.

This negor event can last for days, until the bride wants to be invited into the room. In this negor event there is a custom called nganten-ngantenan. Nganten-ngantenan is done the day after the wedding. The wife's persistence on the night of the negotiation can be interpreted as an expression of her pride that she is not an easy woman, besides that on the night of the negotiation they can get to know each other deeply.
This negor event not only melts the heart of the bride, but also is a condition in which the groom gets to know his wife better. The negotiable money given has nothing to do with the dowry, the negotiable money here is a gift from the husband to the wife.

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