Tande Putus Custom: A Sign That A Woman Is Owned and Ready to Be Married

The Tande Putus custom is one part of a series of Betawi traditional wedding ceremonies. Tande Putus is a binder that explains that the prospective bride already has someone. The Tande Putus ritual was carried out after the marriage proposal which was then continued to the aisle.

This Tande Putus is a determinant of whether or not the relationship between the prospective groom and the prospective bride will continue to the aisle. Because, if in this custom one of the parties does not reach an agreement, then the proposal may be cancelled.

On the other hand, if the Tande Putus agreement has been reached by both families, then proceed to the next stage, namely discussing the implementation of marriage.

Some of the things discussed in this Tande Putus custom include the requested cingkrem (dowry), the amount of money needed for the wedding reception, the requested kekudang (the bride’s favorite food), langke or ‘stepping’ if there is an older brother or older sister who is ‘stepped over’ (a custom to give a gift to the older siblings who have not got married yet; usually money), the duration or length of the party, clothes the marriage ceremony used by the non-in-law candidate at the reception, as well as the number of invitees and who are invited.

As a bonding relationship, Tande Putus is often equated with engagement. The difference is, if the engagement is usually tied with a gold ring, the Tande Putus is in the form of a rattan split ring, maternity money, and various kinds of cakes.

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