Customs

Ngedelengin: The Process of Finding A Mate Among the Betawi People

Bringing together single men and single women who find it difficult to find a mate is usually brokered by someone called a Mak Comblang (matchmaker). It turns out that the term Mak Comblang comes from one of the Betawi traditions or customs, namely ngedelengin. Ngedelengin is a period of introduction between young men and women before the marriage proposal.

Usually in ancient times, the introduction process between young men and women required the services of a Mak Comblang. The Mak Comblang is someone appointed by the young man to be trusted as an intermediary between himself and the woman in the process of their introduction. Mak Comblang itself is usually done by someone who is very trusted, such as encing (uncle) or encang (aunt).

in certain areas in ancient times there was a custom of hanging a pair of milkfish in front of a girl's house when the girl had a crush. The job of hanging milkfish was done by Mak Comblang at the request of the young man's parents. This is the beginning of the task and the work of ngedelengin. Actually, ngedelengin can be done not only by encang or encing, but also can be done by anyone, including the young man himself.

Introductory events are usually held at the wedding of relatives, friends, or close neighbors. During the wedding night, the event can involve the participation of young men and women, that is the place to meet and get to know each other between young men and women.

In addition, ngedelengin can also be done by the youth's parents, but usually only at the initial stage. As for the next stage, it is the youth and women who determine whether there is a match between them or not.

After finding a preferred woman, Mak Comblang will then visit the house of the girl he has a crush on. After going through a chat with the parents of the woman he likes, the next step is to determine the marriage proposal. The Mak Comblang becomes the spokesperson regarding when and what will be gift at the time of marriage proposal.

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